


A Match Made In Hell

by Kantayra of Yore (Kantayra)



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-08-01
Updated: 2004-08-01
Packaged: 2017-10-19 04:23:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 839
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/196831
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kantayra/pseuds/Kantayra%20of%20Yore
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set prior to 'Harsh Light Of Day'. Spike wakes up hung-over one morning to find that he's picked up an unexpected lover. Humorous Spike/Harmony. Part of the 1000 Pairings Challenge.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Match Made In Hell

Spike woke that morning in a haze. His head was spinning, and it felt like he’d swallowed the entire Sahara Desert. Groaning, he opened his eyes, felt a surge of pain and closed them right up again. God, this had to be the worst pain he’d ever been in. This was hell. This was, perhaps, the one disadvantage to being a vampire: that you could suffer this much and not lose consciousness from the pain. Thousands of sharp blades stabbed at him from behind his eyes as he rolled onto his back with an ungraceful flop.

…And bumped into something.

He frowned, trying to figure out what it was. Well, obviously, it was an arm, cool and still. Apparently, he’d forgotten to toss the packaging after he’d had dinner last night. He squinted and could see just enough light through the stained orange drapes of the motel room to know that the sun was out. No hope of dumping this body until nightfall, then. Best not even to worry about it ‘til then.

Swearing inventively in his head, he turned against the corpse beside him and…

 _Twitch._

Spike froze, wondering for a second whether he was still drunk and was imagining things. Yeah, that had to be it. World was still spinning. Because there was no way the body beside him had just…

 _Yawn._

Spike stared, dumb-founded, head still pounding violently, as the blonde beside him sat up and stretched luxuriantly. Her fangs extended as she did so, solving the ‘cold but moving’ mystery which, really, if he’d been in possession of any but the most rudimentary faculties, would’ve been blindingly obvious.

As it was, he just lay there, slowly absorbing the fact that he and a vampiress he couldn’t even bloody well remember were naked in bed together in a sleazy motel room. Fuck! What had he been thinking last night, and— _Ooh, big tits._

He winced inwardly, well aware that that must’ve been _exactly_ what had been on his drunken mind. Slowly, the realization sunk into him, leaving him frightened and panicky. _I cheated on Dru! Oh fuck, oh fuck, ohfuckohfuckohfuck…_

And then, a few seconds after the panic, a more rational thought snuck in: _Wait a minute. She cheated on me first. Serves the bloody bitch right that I’ve found myself a new playmate with nice, perky…_ His thoughts trailed off some more as he gazed lustfully at the chest of the woman who was now snuggling back down beside him. Her body curled right up against his, and her fingers trailed lovingly up and down his spine. And…

Yeah. This wasn’t so bad, after all.

That old Victorian sense in him was acting up, though. William was an annoying git of a gentleman, but Spike hadn’t been able to shut that bleeding heart up, no many how many years, kills, and bottles of booze came between them. Funny that the biggest backbone William had ever developed was after he was dead.

But honor was honor, and if Spike had a new girl, he had to live up to his obligations. Show her the time of her life, maybe get her help on a few of his schemes. Hell, maybe she’d even have a few schemes of her own. Yeah, this was what he needed, a fresh start with someone completely new. Maybe someone who would, one day, fit him even better than Dru. You never knew.

She noticed he was awake then and smiled brightly. A pretty smile that lit up her whole face. Spike didn’t think Dru had _ever_ smiled at him that way before.

He smiled back, more a wicked smirk than anything else, and leaned in to kiss her. And, oh, was her mouth sweet! She was eager and willing, and she crushed those lovely big titties of hers right up against his chest. His hand slipped between them to better feel those lovely, decadent mounds of flesh. Already he was hard again, despite his hangover, and he rubbed his cock needily against one silky pale thigh. Oh yeah, the curves on this girl would do his sex-drive good. Every inch of her he found was more fuckable than the last…

With a final gasp, he pulled away from the kiss, his head feeling clearer now, and an optimism shinning through him that he hadn’t felt since Dru had re-re-dumped him. He had a feeling that this was his lucky day…

And, with a little hum that was almost a squeal, Harmony opened her mouth for the first time. “Oh, Blondie Bear! You’re such a sweet poopsie. But, if we don’t hurry, we’ll _totally_ miss the Britney concert, and I want to steal some new shoes before we go, y’know? Maybe those _really_ cute platforms with the little hearts? They had them in pink down at the mall, and I just _know_ you’ll want to steal them for your wubbly.” She batted long eyelashes at him.

And Spike’s jaw dropped in stunned horror. _What have I gotten myself into?_ He whimpered internally.


End file.
